Last BBS Thing Of The Day

[CaptainWacky]

SORry cASISee
s
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G

BRICK BBRICKs BIRK RIB IRIBKL

JUST POST ON LAST BBS OKAY HOW IS IT DIFFERNET FORM POSTONG ON TK FUKC
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adigia
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gs
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ds

gDON'T LET OUR MESSAGE BOARD FAMly dIE lol

BRICK RIBKR IBRIKKB RIBK RIBKR BIR BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICKS

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICKS

AL THE BRICKS

WE'RE ALL MADE OF BRICKS

BRICKS FAL APART

THEY ODN'T STAND FOREVER

EVEN THE OLDEST BRICK IS PRETTY YOUNG COMPARED TO THE UNIVERSE

THINK ABOUT THAT YOU SHITNOSES

AND THAt'S WHAT WE'ER EMADE OF

BRICKS

BREICKS BREAK

BRICKS DIE

BRICKS CRUMBLE

NOONE PUTS THE BRICKS BACK tOgETHER
WHY WOULD THEY

WE WILL ALL CRUMBLE LIKE THE BRICKS WE ARE

BRICKS

INt HE WIND

BRICK DUST

PUT US IN CEMENT MIXERS

MASH OUR FUCKING BRAINS UP

FUCKING MASH THEM GOTETHER

YOU KNOW LADS

MIX ALL THEM BRICKS UP INa BIG FUCKING BRICK SOUP

THEN FUCKING FUCKING DRINK THAT SHIT

THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE

A FUCKING BRICKS SOUP

OU FUCKING FUCK

THEY'REL NEVER PUT YOUR BRICKS BACK TOGETHEr

NOT EVER

[Cassie]

BRICKS!

Fuck I read the thing, and now I won't have a thing to read tomorrow.

[CaptainWacky]

YOU CAN READ THIS THING TOMORROW

___________________________________________________________

"You're just sexist!" she said storming off. He felt himself going red. He stood there, trying to think of how he could explain. It was too late, of course, she was already gone. And even thinking of explaining his brain to her was giving him an anxiety attack.

He definitely wans't sexist. He was just...different. His brain was different from a normal brain. He knew real sexists existed. He could understand that. He just wasn't one of them. He wasn't one of anything. He was him.

He was Charles Horse.

He went home and sat in a dark room trying to forget everything that had happened.

He nearly succeeded. By the morning he almost thought it had been a dream.

That's because it had been, he realised. He'd been dreaming the embarrassed part too, the going home part, the trying to foget part. That had all been part of a dream, a dream that had started when a girl had accused him of being sexist. The clue was that the only time girls ever talked to him was in a dream. He could remember he'd been in a room full of computers at the start of the dream now, or maybe that was a different dream. There were people there and he'd punched a puppet or something.

Dreams! They were crazy.

Charles Horse went to sleep hoping a girl would talk to him in his dreams again.

________________________________________________________________


gflag
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I AM THE NOSE LOrd

no I'm not

sorry

got confused there

I'm not hte nose lord

YOU ARE

that's right!


by reading this you have become the nose lord

i know this must come as a surprise

but you are the nose lord

and you have responsibilities now

the responsibilities of a nose lord

you better live upt hte title of nose lord

or else I will be very very very very very very veryv eryv eryvevyeeyve yveyvyeeyve veyr vyer vye yve veyr vye veyf v yer very vyer veyr veyv evyer vyer vyevy evyeve vyeveyve vey veyr vyer vyeryf vyvey diappoitned1

you bastard

[Eggs Loki]

LIKE THIS AND SHARE AND THE NEXT PERSON WHO READS IT WILL BECOME THE NOSE LORD AND YOU WILL RECEIVE MONEY AND BLESSINGS, said every cousin who I eventually removed from my timeline.

[Cassie]

I AM THE LORD OF ITCHY NOSES

[CaptainWacky]

__________________________________

"IS TK EVER COMING BACK?"
"Umm, I'm a cat, how would I know?"

An actual conversation I just had with my cat.

Except the cat can't speak so she didn't say that.

And I didn't actually say the first part either.

So really this was a complete lie.

But still, it's a good question!

_____________________________________

On TK I'd write stories and shit like fucking fuck Cat Cleaners and those Dr_DAve storiesand all that and the Kelvin stories lol I'll never finish those lol and I had other things planned int he COMING IN 2016 thread but really it's hard to write and I can't write those things here becaue this is a different forum with its own feeling man so I can't so maybe ishould start new things stories i mean this is at hign but really canadgslhbsfdihsgfbgsg yeah ican't even finish a puncuation free stream of consciousness sentence okay lolhow do yo fucking expecting me to write a sotry ou're being unreasonable mate you got to give me a break let me sleep i'll live my life later whne i'm done lseeping i mean it's not like i'm mortal or anything it's not like i'm already thirty five fucking years old and destined to die in probably less than that time so yeah it's not like i'mgoing ot age and die you know i'm immortal reality's diffennt for me something will happent os top me dying you kow that'show things go for me don't worry it's coming even when i'm fucking literally dead don't worry i'll come back to life somehow probably don't owrry it's all god maaaaaaaan

______________________________________________

but really bringing TK back would't solve any of my problems

I'd just satrt going "WHY ISN'T HITLER POSTINAG AGAIN YET"

and tweet to Hitler "HEY DID YOU NOTICE TK'S BACK"

And when Hitler says "yes I'll post ooon" I'd just think "HITLER IS LYING"

and even when Hitler did post I'd be disappointed by his post and not reply to it to punish him

yeah

noting's ever solved really

exce..t...by...death!?

no

no

_____________________________________________________

uhmm

something

something sonnomethin

smoething

hey

a story

_________________________

Charles Horse walked into the shop.

"I'd like to...umm..."

"yes?

"FGafhs


"


hds
h


__________________________

no Charles Horse would never do that!

___________________________


no

no ore stories

stories are lies

the only truth s my repeateadly saying "JUST GOING TO DIE" again and again and afuckinggain

sorry

JUST GOING TO DIET

SEE

IT WAS A TWIST_____________________

+_________________


it's weird how I'm obsessed with female celebrities

i try to trace the source of it in my mind

and I can to some extent

but the start is ellusive

and why did it become an obsession

I don't know

i'll never know

I'll never know my own mind

I am my mind

and yet

I'm not?

I'm my current mind

thepast is the past

it's made me what I am but it's not what I am now

I'm only this

this thought process

right now

this is all I'll ever be

for a few secdosn

then I'm a ner person
fjisgnew

___________________

sorry this is much worse even than usual

[Cassie]

Hitler is too busy petting his cat to post

[CaptainWacky]

Hitler: I have ways of making you purr!

(Hitler strokes his cat.)

Cat: Purr, purrrrr!

Hitler: You're a good cat. Yes you are! Oh yes you are! You are a good cat!

Cat: Purr, purrr!

(Eva Braun walks in. She laughs.)

Eva: Oh, Adolt, stop stroking that cat, we have a war to win!

Hitler: The cat needs love!

(The cat looks at Eva.)

Cat: Miaow?

Eva: Aww, yes, she does. Oh yes she does!

(Eva Braun tickles the cat under the chin.)

Cat: Purr, purr!

Hitler: Besides, sometimes it is good to think about nice things rather than war, ja?

Eva: I understand. Do you ever think you are doing the wrong thing with this war?

Hitler: Sometimes. Maybe if everyone had a nice cat to stroke, there would be no need for war...

Eva: Even the Jews?

Hitler: Could a cat really love a Jew?

Cat: Hisssss!

Hitler: That answers that! Back to the war!

Eva: Haha, good cat!

(They go back to the war. But it turns out the cat was hissing because it saw a dog outside, not becauase of Jews. Ironically, Hitler would have stopped being evil if he'd known that.)

_____________________________________________

yhgfffhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

fh88r8e88ratrt
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why can't we all just post on a messssage board together

would it be so hard

dgiagiaigag8a8g
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yeah

sometime I type leters
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sometimes i type nbumer
3

4999999999999999999999999

I' upredictable

like a ewasl
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like an Ewok

wennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Imogen Poots is a real perso

)FFffffffffffff

I'm not

never going to change

obivously

life is short

how can nayone change

durp

are iro

don'e msteter

doens't mater if you change

yor brain is still reset at th ened

to nothing

you go back to nothing

you started as nothing

you end asnothing

what's in between isi mmaterial

so yeah

lol

_______________________

i,agomeOf

bj

gf

blowjob!?
glsaglj

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no

__________________

imagine I typed more words down here

[Cassie]

I'm imagining Hitler and Eva making all the cats purr.

[CaptainWacky]

__________________________

"Please let me out," he said. Taylor stared at him, emotionless. She'd had him in her basement for two days now. She still hadn't decided what she was going to do with him.

"But I need to study evil," she said, more to herself than to him.

"I'm not evil!" he said. "I swear. I've done nothing wrong."

"I saw you hitting your girlfriend at my concert," said Taylor.

"She was flirting with a guy right in front of me!" he said. "I...I mean, I didn't mean to hit her...I was aiming at him."

"You have several convictions for domestic assault," said Taylor. "I checked."

"No...I didn't...they called the cops on me because we had arguments...maybe they got out of control sometimes..."

"And a conviction for drunk driving. You caused an accident which cost a man his leg."

"An accident...it could have happened to anyone..."

"Anyone who was driving drunk."

"...what are you going to do with me?"

"I thought of killing you. Flaying your skin. As an experiment. You see, a meepboop from the future once appeared to me in the form of my cat and told me I would one day unite the world, but I would need to slaughter millions in death camps to make that happen. Even as I am now, immortal and barely human, I still haven't killed very many peope. A few rapists and murderers that I managed to get my hands on, yes, but if I am to become an immortal tyrant...I need more victims. Someone like you, certainly a bad person but not actually a killer...I need to start killing people like you. Just to see if I can do it."

"You're insane," he said, realising. "Taylor Swift is insane."

"If only that were true," she said. "Everything I've said is the truth. Tell me, have you not noticed that I have not aged a day in the last seven years?"

"But like you said, I'm not...I'm not a rapist. I...yes I slapped my girlfriend at your concert. And...maybe there have been other times I've lost my temper. But I see now, I see the error of my ways! Please, don't kill me. I can be a good person. Please!"

"Maybe that's all I need...the threat. Maybe if I show the world my power, they will all become good, out of fear of me. Yes...that could work."

"I'll spread the word, oh might one!" he was down on his knees, begging.

"Stop grovelling. I can't let you go free, not yet. But maybe you could live here...as my slave."

"Oh yes, you thank you, merciful Lady Swift!"

She just rolled her eyes and walked out of the basement. She look in the mirror, checking to see who was looking back.

She saw a vision of her meepboop cat sitting on her shoulder. It was shaking its head, mocking her. Telling her she was wrong to show mercy. Telling her to become the monster it had seen in its future.

She smashed the mirror.

She went through a lot of them.

________________________________________

[Cassie]

I will join Taylor's army

[CaptainWacky]

ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh6

brain is just a brain and what if you divided it up into segments lots and ltos of tiny brain segments and they're all still alive but they're all sperate and they're seperated all over the glove all over the world all in different places okay they're all seperate that's what i'm saying well in this scenario i ask you where is the soul? hwere is it? Wher is the soul? Is it with one particular segment? All of them? Does the soul die when the segments are seperates? When the part of youb rain responsible for thinking about crisps is in one placeand the part responsible for thinking about cats is in antoher? how can your soul be in two places or more at once? which sould is really you? Are they clones? Have you created new souls, new life, by splitting the brain? or just killed one life? or...is there no life at all? No soul. So segmenting the brain doesn't matter. IT's an experiment to study how the brain works. But you haven't killed anyone. You ahven't created anting. it's jst sicnece.

What happened to tuvix's soul?

______________________________

[Eggs Loki]

Souls are like Wonder Woman's tits invisible plane. They can pass through each other, or intermingle, but they retain their individual essences as parts of the universal force. Horcruxes are bullshit. THIS I BELIEVE AS A POWERPOINT EXPERT.

Now I'm wondering, since Tuvix was the sum of two beings, why wasn't he twice as big as one person? Shouldn't the combined mass have resulted in someone 11 feet tall and 360-400 lbs?

[CaptainWacky]

Tuvix dick pics please.

[Cassie]

Does it curve to the righ tor the left.

[Eggs Loki]

Three words: MUTANT YELLOW SQUASH.

[Cassie]

HIS CROTCH IS A GARDEN.

[CaptainWacky]

ooooooooooooooooooo

things of tehday!

the day

remember on TK when thing of the day was actually good

lol joke it was never good

i mean at the start it was kind of good

remember when I used to write "story of the day"

how the fuck could I write a story a day

i mean come on a whole story

and it was always just "a guy is walking down a street and a girl kind of looks at him he isn't sure and he's thinkinga bout it then he's run over by a car anddies in hospital the end" wans't it

who wants to read that

no one!

not even BENT BARRY

and he's got curvature of the spine

and he'll read anything

he just read the bible looking for "clues"

I asked him what he meant by this but he just touched his nose and said "ouch, my spine!"

he's crazy

he once tried to eat Emilia Clarke

he'd never even met her

he was just eating a burger

and he said "I'm trying to eat Emilia Clarke"

"What do you mean?" I asked

"well, everything in the universe is connected, right?" he said. "on some subatomic level."

"Sure..." I said, already seeing where he was going with this.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed, with no further explanation and stuffed the rest of the burger in his mouth

He was in a coma for eight months

when he woke up he said he'd had a dream in his coma where the idea for "chocolate toes" had come to hm

he wouldn't explain what he meant

he never did anything with the idea

one day I went to his house to see him and he was an egg

I mean literally he'd transformed into an egg

I knocked on his shell and said "barry, mate, are you alright" because I thought he was inside the egg

but he was the actual egg andcouldn't reply

I never saw him again after that day because I ran away scared

sometimesI wonder

if maybe he wasn't an egg

maybe ther ewas just an egg in his house

but I don't know

it seemed to me he was the egg

____________________________________

g

g

what' your avourite key to ranodmly tpresS?

myine is ffffffffffffffff

no

tha'ts for a diffffferent fucntion

mine iw wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

i like how wwwwwwwwwwwwwww is bigger than the other letters

you can fill up a line firast with wwwwwwwwwwwwwww

but with iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii that takes longer

or
oooooooooooooooo
wwwwwwww

oooooooooooo
wwwwwwwwwwww

see

w is longer

i'm clever

it's twice as big as u!

uuuuuuuuuu
wwwww

wait

not it's not

omg

what is this life

____________________________

yeah anyway

my bran has bene replaced by hamburger meat

it's lucky Bent Barry hasn't tried to eat it

or is it lucky

at least if I was dead i wouldn't have to worry about having a brain made of hamburger meat

unable to think complex thoughts

full of sand

and empty

and such

so yeah

get eating Barry

[Cassie]

I will make delicious gravy with your brain.

[CaptainWacky]

So does Benjamin Button start with him coming out of his mother as a fully grown old man? What the fuck? How would he fit? How much would she have to...stretch? I mean come on. That makes no fucking sense. Or just he just appear in an old folk's home as an old man or crawl out of a grave or what? And does it end with his mother shoving baby Benjamin back up her? How can his mother still be alive? Or if he doesn't have a mother to start, how does he find his mother as a baby?

I have never seen this movie or looked it up on wikipedia.

________________________________________________

bible warriors

fighting wars

with bibles

they've never read the bible

they can't read

they just throw bibles at people

really hard

they can really sting

if you see a bible warrior you better run away

_______________________________________________

it's funny how animals die all the time

_______________________________________________

wait tha'ts not funny!

________________________________________________

okay I looked up Benjamin Button

From the reading, it is revealed that on the evening of November 11, 1918, a boy is born with the appearance and physical maladies of an elderly man. The baby's mother died after giving birth, and the father, Thomas Button, abandons the infant on the porch of a nursing home.

]

Huh.

In the spring of 2003, Benjamin dies in Daisy's arms, physically an infant but chronologically 84 years of age.

Okay at least nobody shoved him up their cunt.