The Last BBS

Is anyone else like this? Its okay if the answer is no.

Every fucking night I make a list in my head of how productive I am going to be tomorrow. And then when tomorrow arrives I decide I am going to sleep in and fuck all that productivity bs nonsense and don't be so unrealisitc and hard on myself and just sleep in and don't worry about everything else. Then I rush off to work, sort of and don't really care, but really do care. So I am making this thread in attempts to knock myself into reality of what I really am going to accomplish and what I am not going to accomplish.
And I'm not downloading some stupid cortisol, hyrdroxy clorizide fuckingaptitude app that will knock my lymphatic symbols into another universe chilling, vibe thing. (Its okay if you have that and it works, I am really fucking happy for you. I tried it and it was fucking overwhelming too)(actually also it just asked stupid questions)

And how do people wake up 2-3 hours before they are supposed to? Like when do they go to bed? How do people sit and have coffee for 3 hours before they are supposed to go to work. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!

Okay, so almost every morning I am going to get up and make myself breakfast and maybe do a chore like some laundry or dishes or make phone calls to all the senators etc etc etc

Tomorrow I am going to get up and make a dish for a potluck later in the day. Excellent eh? And then I may also clean out my fridge a little, oh and I have also been planning on going in to work early for like the last 2 years AND also go into town early not to work but to get pictures of sun rises and cute animals that are awake at that time.
ALSO THIS WEEK I hAD MYSELF CONVINCED I WAS GOING TO DO A 7 mile hike before 10 AM! WTF LIke these are things that really went through my mind.

Well definitely slept in
Lololol
Sigh

I don't know why my leg hurts. Everything gets worse every year.

Take a shower
Get dressed
Put something together for lunch
Curse a bunch
Grumble internally
Loathe lots of things
Sigh
Stare blankly out the window
Blink
Remember people are coming in today
Say, "ugh"
I can't get the excitement
Wishes for meteor
Says "oh well"
More staring

I used to be able to sleep in, but now I wake up FOR NO REASON. I am turning into my grandmother.

I think maybe you should stop making lists of how productive you are going to be tomorrow, because you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Then when you don't live up to your own expectations, you get mad at yourself, and feel bad.

I have trouble doing things for myself, like I will procrastinate on those things, but I have no problem if it's for someone else, or my animals. I recently started thinking of my future self as if she is a different person, and I do stuff for her. For example, some small thing like cracking ice trays so my future self doesn't have to, then I start thinking like that all the time. I think if I do this chore now, she won't have to. It doesn't always work, because I know I am bullshitting myself, but it does work pretty often!

I like the meteor thing, adding that to my list

Eggs Loki wrote: ↑Mon Apr 07, 2025 1:08 am I like the meteor thing, adding that to my list

LOL I didn't remember saying that, I had to go back and read.

Cassie wrote: ↑Sun Apr 06, 2025 8:19 pm I used to be able to sleep in, but now I wake up FOR NO REASON. I am turning into my grandmother.

I think maybe you should stop making lists of how productive you are going to be tomorrow, because you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Then when you don't live up to your own expectations, you get mad at yourself, and feel bad.

I have trouble doing things for myself, like I will procrastinate on those things, but I have no problem if it's for someone else, or my animals. I recently started thinking of my future self as if she is a different person, and I do stuff for her. For example, some small thing like cracking ice trays so my future self doesn't have to, then I start thinking like that all the time. I think if I do this chore now, she won't have to. It doesn't always work, because I know I am bullshitting myself, but it does work pretty often!

I will try to stop making lists!
Last night my list was laundry, dishes, phone calls
and each morning my new routine is wake up at 7:30 but get moving by 8 and leave the house by 9. Today was 9:30

Oh plus in my head I am going to get to work early to clean/organize since I will be gone next week.

I like your idea of doing things for that "future person" Or for "an animal!"
LOL "IF I don't do this now an animal will die!!!!" (That's pretty extreme)

I think I hate my future self

NO, love her! lol Pretend she is your grandma, and she needs her laundry.