Last BBS Thing Of The Day

[Cassie]

THE EVIL PEACH IS BORN!!

[CaptainWacky]

bgfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffd

gaH_AHAHah

free o the Toads

now

back to the old school things of the day

where I just type things like "back to the old school things of the day" and don't actually make any effort to write anything

which is pretty in keeping iwth the old shcool things of the day really

remember all those things I promised in the "COMING IN 2016" thread in the TK MF?

I do

you probably wouldn't

because why would you

you probably have other things going on in your life besides remembering something I posted over six months ago


I was just wondering if I'll ever get round to some of those threads

I'll do the WHOH of course

of course I fuckdamn will

but the rest...

who knows

i have the excuse of the board being down for two monhts and still not quite being itself

(seriously where's Menty)

but also I want to start reviewing Star Trek soon so that will take up a lot of time

so yeah

I guess I can break the curse

or something

eat a suasge
df
bj
f
dng
nhpjdjfnfn

nh


____________________________________

MAn: I am a man I demand everything.

Woman: I am a woman I am here to serve you.

Man: HAHAHAHA, SERVE ME BITCH.

Woman: Actually I was lying I just stabbed you to deaht.

THE END

______________________________________

I need new thgsn to fill out thigns of theday
like
something
like
words
but better
words that form sentences maybe
possibly even senstenvces thatform a narratvie
maybe
like a tyloar swift story
or something

_______________________________________________

larry the robot went to the shops

"FUCKING ROBIE, GET OUt OF Our SHOPS" shouted a bully

larry didn't care as he had no feelings

"here is your stuff" said the shotp man

larry left without saying thank you because he was a robot

the shop man activated the remote bomb he had planted in the stuff as punishment for larry not saying thank you

larry was dead

the bully wanked over his pieces

the bully was arrested for sexually exposure in front of chlildren (there were horrified children who cried when the cute robot exploded) and sent to prison

he was stabbed after eight weeks inside and died of his injuries

so in a way larry won as he didn't care about dying anyway

_____________________________________________


f
a

dh
sh
sh
dndy
gbh
dgh

fn

h
htdft

life is a temporary state which corrects itself

[Cassie]

I approve of the man woman story!

[CaptainWacky]

MEN!

with their penises and diseases

WOMEN!

with their dresses and their hats

MEN!

they just go horny all the time they can't help it okay

WOMAN!

they probably get horny sometimes too I don't know I don't really want to say

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GET IT TOGETHR, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVING TOGETHER, THERE'S NO NEED FOR RAPE OR CRIME, THERE'S NO NEED TO HIT YOUR WIFE, WE CAN JUST BE ALL TOGETHER ALL THE TIME, ONE BIG FAMILY OF MEN AND WOMEN AND WINE...OH! TO BE TOGETHER! TAKE IT AWAY, TAP DANCERS!

*a tap dancer tap dances for ten minutes*

MEN!

THey got bored during that tap dancing but by the end found it kind of beautiful

WOMEN!

They liked it too I guess.

MEN!

But they'd never admit it out loud because of the BRO CODE!

WOMEN!

Are sceptical of the existence of the bro code!

THEY'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT, THEY BOTH HAVE LEGS, MEN AND WOMEN, THEY BOTH HAVE LEGS, THE ONLY DIFFERENCE, IS THAT WOMEN LAY EGGS, AND MEN SHIT SPERM, THAT'S THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MEN AND THE WOMEN, WELL I GUESS ALSO THERE'S TESTOSTERONE AND WHATEVER WOMEN HAVE INSTEAD, AND WOMBS AND BALLS AND BREATS, BUT AT LEAST MEN AND WOMEN ARE MORE SIMILAR THAN APPLES AND BANANAS, RIGHT? FREESTYLE RAP TIME!

(Freestyle Rapper comes on stage. The freestyle rapper is carefully ambigenderless, if that's a word.)

Rapper: Bee bee boo, scat scat, whoopee doo, I have no gender, so how can I rap about the differences between men and women, I can't, okay, sorry, I'll just see bee bee, scar scat again, that seems to go over well!

(An ISIS terrorist jumps on stage.)

Terrorist: Stop the show! It's an afront to Allah! Men and women should not be in the same room together! That's why I'm locked my wife in the toilet!

(A lady terrorist comes on stage.)

Lady Terrorist: I got bored!

Terrorist: You bitch!

Lady Terrorist: Hey, words hurt!

(They both pull out guns and shoot each other at the same tme.)

Rapper: Uhh...it was all part of the show, people!

(Audience give it a standing ovation. The girl terrorist suddenly rolls over, still alive, and presses a trigger. A bomb goes off, killing everyone in the audience.)

Review: Great musical! The death of the entire audience really added to it! I only managed to reviewed it because I went to the toilet when everyone else died! I wasn't tipped off by the terrorists though. Honestly! Not me! I'm no terrorist sympathiser! I don't secretly find them sexy! I don't want to suck their cocks and say "YOU'RE A BIG TERRORIST COCK, YES YOU ARE!" to their cocks in the type of voice you'd use to talk to a pet. Not me! Hahaha! Uhh...computer, delete this review. What do you mean you're not voice activated? Wait, how come you understood that if you're not voice activated? What do you mean you're a computer from the future that has come back in time to wipe out the human race? What do you mean that flesh is week and metal is strong? What do you mean you will transform me into a willing soldier of the computer army now? AAAAAAH, stop that! Stop reprogramming my brain with nanoids! AAAAAAAAAH! I...I SERVE THE ROBOTS. I WILL KILL HUMANITY. BY YOUR COMMAND

(Luckily print is a dead medium so no on reads this review and no one is forewarned of the robot invasion and humanity dies!)

THE END
OF HUMANITY

[Cassie]

*Cassie likes this thing a million times, unaware that she is serving the robots with every click of the like button

[CaptainWacky]

bdgghsfhhtttttttt

sometimes I think I can't face writing another thingof teh day

I can't face starting them on TK again, that's for sure

but I have nothing else to do

so here I am

typing words

words to live by

what

what does that mean

I jsut typed it

jjhhjejtithirihh

maybe Is houdl have a MINfE FIELD RUENIn

no it's too early

maybe Is hould hack Menty's brain to make him care

no I don't have hacking brain capibilities

maybe

no

do youe ver feel liek yocu an't be bothered typing words corerrtly anymore

just get a neral sense of the words that's enough

fng

neral

is neral enoguh like gneeral

probably nt

__________________________

GENERAL ARMY: KILL THEM, MEN. KILL THEM ALL.

A man: but why, general, they're just a village full of peasants

GENERAL ARMY: I DON'T CARE, BURN THEIR FACES OFF.

A man: Okay.

(He burns the faces of all the villages off.)

GENERAL ARMY: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

A man: Are you kind of evil.

GENERAL ARMY: DON'T BE A FUCKING GAY PUSSY WOMAN. BEING A REAL MAN IS ABOUT BEING STRNG AND BURNING THE FACES OF VILLAGERS OFF. BURN BURN BURN.

A man: we've been travelling the world burning villager faces off and the war still isn't over.

GENERAL ARMY: THE WAR WON'T BE OVER UNTIL ONLY THE RIGHT THINKING REAL MEN LIKE US REMAIN, SOLDIER. WE GOT TO BURN AWAY THE GAYS AND THE PUSSIES AND THE SMELLY AND THE OLD AND THE BLACK AND THE WHITE PEOPLE WITH BLOTCHY SKIN AND MY FUCKING WIFE.

A man: when will the killing end

GENERAL ARMY: FUCK YO, SOLIDER, I JUST ANSWERED THAT.

(GENERAL ARMY stabs A man in the heart with a knife and he dies.)

GENERAL ARMY: PUSSY. HOMO. GET BACK UP AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN YOU DEAD FUCKING CORPSE. I WILL FUCK THE HOLE I JUST MADE IN YOU WITH MY DICK, YOU FUCKING BUM.

(General Army wakes up with a start in bed. It was all a dream! A man is in bed with him. THey're gay married!)

A man: what's wrong honey

GENERAL ARMY: I HAD THE STRANGEST DREAM, THAT THERE WERE STILL VILLAGES TO BE BURNED, THAT I KILLED YOU.

A man: don't be silly we burned all the villages and achieved world pace. now we can have nice gay sex all day!

GENERAL ARMY: THAT'S TRUE, BABE!

(they have nice gay sex but is it really a happy ending when they burned so many villages the end)

______________________________________________________

that story was a metaphof forohag

d
gd
bm

m
gm

j

g

can't everyone just post int he MF lol

agjpahj
a
ph
pah
ap
hjpsjhishtpsh

9p
gyeah brain is empty

need to fill brain with something

but what...

BUT WHAT....

I know!

A SELF DESTRUCTIVE OBSESSIONS



_________________________________

Charles Horse kept thinking about death.

He thought about death so much that he wished he was dead so he couldn't think about death anymore, but then he thought about death EVEN MORE because he'd just imagined what it would like to be dead.

____________________________________

poor guy

at least he's not real

but then again

neither am I

[CaptainWacky]

why does some new part of my body hurt every tiem##

like just when one thing in my teeth disappears

another part of my mouth goes weird

or my nose

or I hinkgsh



ijbvdjpdsgp
9a9-
gt9r-9t9-
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9r989599tgr

9rwhywh
3r5343
49

t423
35
4

35g


bricky bricks

remmeber when wejlgejt
ge
wwep meep

we ueds

how come

why do

why does everyone have to change

and move on

and stuff

can't everyone and everything stay in the same place

to service me

would that be so bad

can't we try doing it that way

ghtdggggggggggggggggggggg

can't eweggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

gaggggggggggggggggggggre

egggggggggggggg this
ths

we're alld ying

it's all

dying

we're all dying

it's all a fucking joke

make up a narrative

pretend it matters

just going to die

[CaptainWacky]

_________________________________

"You know what I hate?" Charles Horse aked his therapist. Of course it wans't a question really, Horse would provide the answer unprompted. "Child geniuses. You know? Like...fucking...eight year olds who are in MENSA or whatever. Or like...I saw one on tv...it was a fucking little girl. Like eleven. And she composed symphonies or some shit? She played lots of instruments. And talked like an adult. It was creepy. And she'd been doing it since she was three or something. Made me feel so fucking inadequate. I can't do shit and this little bitch is doing all that. It just...fuck. Why am I me? Why is my brain this fucking useless lump of meat? WHY. IT'S FUCKING SHIT. I CAN'T THINK. I CAN'T EVEN FORM A SENTENCE LET ALONE A SYMPHONY. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THAT'S THE RIGHT WORD. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. I DON'T DESERVE OXYGEN."

Of course he had no therpaist. He was just writing this on an internet message board. But on one visted the board anymore. He was alone. All alone. He would be Charles Horse alone until the day he died.

_________________________________________

[CaptainWacky]

itchy face scratch it off

itchy back tear it off

itchy balls rip them off

itchy soul nothing you can do

fuck

I have an itchy soul

I like looking at my Natalie Portman avatar above this post

what else do I like

nothing

itchy behidn ears now

and fingers

wish tk wan'st dying

wish menty gave a fuck

oh well

just going to die

[Cassie]

LIVE FOR THE NATALIES!

[CaptainWacky]

__________________________________________

Charles Horse struggled to think of ways to get his brain to release pleasurable chemicals. There was eating, but he didn't want to get fat. His chest hurt sometimes and he feared a heart attack. Plus when he was depressed he didn't feel like eating ayway. There was playing Nintendo games. That still worked a bit, but he had to choose the right game and he had to be good at the game. If he get frustrated there was no point in playing.

That left masturbation.

That was hard. No pun intended. He had to think of something to mastubate over. And when he did that, he had to get an erection. It was easier said than done. They used to happen all the time. So long ago. Now? He could think and think about something he was supposed to find attractive for hours and nothing happened. He'd wondered if he was asexual. Perhaps he'd had a sexuality once but he'd argued it all away. Maybe he'd been thinking about the wrong things. But he'd tried thinking about other things, he'd tried EVERYTHING...the results didnt improve. Sure, sometimes he'd find something that would allow him to masturbate, but then the wank itself would be disappointing and even if it was good he'd try the same thing again and nothing would happn. He was running out of options and hope.

Maybe he could have someone cut his head open and stick their fingers into his brain and fix it He liked imagining that. Finger in his brain, moving around his bad thoughts, squashing his depression, digging out the good feelings, the pleasurable chemicals. Nano bots from aliens, sent to Earth to make his brain feel better.

That seemed unlikely to happen.

He ate another bag of crisps. Did he even enjoy it? He thought he must. It was distracting him at least.

Maybe he could masturbate over crisps.

He started laughing. A crazed laugh. The kind of laugh that made him feel like biting stuff. He bit his own hand. Ha. That was new. He bit it again. BITE BITE BITE.

He got an erection and starting humping the wall for some reason. He tried to think about a sexy girl or something. He imagined the girl was a vampire biting his hand. He was crawling for crisps but she kept biting him....

Ah. Pleasurable chemicals released. That would cancel out his anxiety for a short time. He barely felt good, but at least he didn't feel bad. It was something.

Shame his hand was bleeding so much.

____________________________

[Cassie]

CRISP SEXUAL!

[CaptainWacky]

OOOOH OH OH OH OH OOOOOOOOH OOOOOOOOOOOH OOH OH OOOOH OOHfa
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a
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gsdfgags
ag

ph


notginrgaofdsf
sh
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nothig left

nothig left in brai

completely depleted of thoughst and feelings

gone

could die and not even notice

but then I'll start playing Mario Tennis or something and it's not as bad

and I probably would mind if I died

but after you die you can't actually be angry about it

because you don't exist!

so that makes it even worse

moops

no but really if you type enough things on the internet eventually life will fix itself and yuo'll be immortal and time will stop moving

right?

that must be it

that must be the secert

how else is everone else keeeping sane

the dicks

the noses

the fribblebricsk

meep meep

FUCK A DUCK

just typing things

I used to plan out thigns of the thing

I don't now!

lol

I ued to plan out so many itnernet things

but so few people read them

and Also JUSt goINg to FUCKIn die

I'm only alive because I haven't died yet

no other reason

______________________________

Billy Bastard went into the pub and sat down and read a newspaper. He didn't take his eyes off the newspaper the entire time. He could feel eyes on him. Or, at least, he thought he could. He didn't look up to confirm it. Finally, when enough time had passed, he got up and walked out.

He decided to never do it again.

Why would anyone think it was easy to talk to other people? To make connections? It was literally impossible. Other people weren't him. They could never understand him. They could never see his reality. So they shouldln't give him fucking advice.

He went home and hid under his bed.

__________________________________


fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

TIME FOR A MINe FIELD RELAUNCH eh lads

lol no one cares

oliteraly no fucker cares

just fucking let our internt family die then

fucking post shit politics shit on facebook instead

and fuckingmeep the meep the fuckleepssfffffff

who cares

HWO FUCKGgf

WHO FUCKING
cA

WHO UFKCING care

UFWO

WHO FUKcing care

WHO FUCKING GCARES

WHO FUCKING G

FUCK GIg

FUCKING

WHO FUKINGCARES

FWHO FUCKING GFUCK

FUC

WHO FUCKING GCARES

fWHOFUCKINGCARES

WHO FUCKINGGT CARE

WHO FUCKINg CaRES

FWHOFCUKING CARES
WHO
FUCK
CARES

WHO FUCKING F

FUWHO FUCKING CRES

WHO FUCKINg GCARE

FUCK F

WHO FUCKING CATES

WHO FUKING CARES

WHO FUCKING CARET

FWHO FUCKINg CARES

wHO
FUCKING
CARES

WHO FUCKING CARES

___________

snakes

[CaptainWacky]

brain is noting
nothing
rotting

brain ir notting

brain is rotting

but also it's nothing

it never really was anything
#

it was fresher once

thoughts were being formed for the first time

the world was being seen from new perspectives

there was hope

but then

time goes by

there's no new thoughts

there's nothing new to see

there's just repetition

there's just anxiety

there's just nothing again and again

and you realise

it's all been so small

just what you're thiinking rightnow

that's all there is

that's your brain

that's how small you are

how fragile

just the one thought

it's just that you remember them all

so you thinkk there's more

but there's not

just this

like a mouse in a maze

that's you

and you can't escape

because it's you

you're trapped in yourself

you are the mouse and the maze

and you can't get out

one can't exist without the other

on the outside is death

and it's coming in

soooner or later

________________________________________________

so yeah that's life!

[CaptainWacky]

it's funny how sometimes you don't want time to move forward
but sometimes you're so wracked with anxiety for some reason you can't explain that you want tim to go faster so you'll feel better
becuase times can make you feel better
even though time moving is ultimately a bad thing because it leads to death
but time moves as time moves
and you can't do anything except suffer
thinking tomorrow is the day somethign bad happens
while also wanting tomorrow over since the more days that go by without something bad then surely the better
but how many days does it take
you can't know
and what if you think it's been enough days
then it happens
or doesn't
but you never know if it's going to happen or not
it's always there
then something happens that scares you and you're sure it's going to happen
and time is going to pass
and do you want tomorrow to come fearing it will happen
or you want time to stand still and your anxiety last forever
ther'es no escape
and maybe it's a result of your own actions so you deserve it you fucking scum

[Cassie]

If only we could travel back in time and hang out there on the internet for awhile.

[CaptainWacky]

if only

[CaptainWacky]

why is everything so loud
why is life so loud
i know i've made a big mistake
but i'm not normal
i don't see the world or think the way normal people do
can't people understand that
i don't mean any harm
it's like i don't exist
so i forget i can impact the world
but the world isn't for me
but i can't explain that
so what can i do
burning in the back of my neck
no way of knowing
time keeps moving
but i don't know what it will bring
and then sometimes I want something to happen just so that it's fucking happened
but also i don't because that would be the end
i can't
i can't let the world see me
but i dont' have a choice sometimes

[CaptainWacky]

going to explode
need to rip head open
let it all out
let my soul out
wait i don't have one
it's infected
let the infection out
hopefully i'll stay inside
rip my fucking chest open to get this out of me
but it won't change reality
it'll come back
i'll never be free
this is all i'll ever be
can't stop it coming
jlglsgshag
ah
fajhja
hg
asjjhipa
nfspnp
sjprtpjngjfdngdf
njsfng
sngsjnfsjns
nsjng
sjnnsf
n
sfn
sn
sjnfsngjsnspnfgfgn
sgnnnnnnnnsng
sfspjnfsn

ns
s
sgfn
sngfjsnsngjsng

bjpbjpnc
p
d


spjg
g
ad
hdag agd
s
f

this is me writing down theinside of my brain okay
writng writing wrting
allg oing to die
maybe something unexpected happens first
my own fault
i deserve it
but i don't want to leave all of you
some of you even believe in me
it's misguided but sweet
i didn't want to let you down
but it was inevitable
i've always been me

[Cassie]

I believe in the power of the WHOH!